zero investment, zero awesomeness

So you know that story in Eat Pray Love about the dude who wishes so hard to win the lottery, except it turns out he'd never actually bought a ticket? That was me last year. Except I didn't want to win the lottery, I wanted to be fucking awesome.

I wanted to run a successful business, on my terms, that let me be of total service to girl-kind and meant I could have mad crazy adventures with my beau. I wanted to become a bendy-wendy yogini with a spiritual practice that made my heart happy and I wanted to make money. The problem was, I'd been freelance for over seven years, I'd NEVER thought of myself as a business woman, I'm a size 18, so mastering a shoulder stand would be quite the achievement, and as for making money? Pah.

I read a gazillion blogs about go-for-it girls doing amazing things in the world, in fact I would actively seek out girls who were living life on their terms, being the authors of their own story AND making money.

[quote style="boxed" float="none"]...These girls weren't simply surviving, they were thriving and I wanted me a piece o' that Thrive Pie so bad....[/quote]

I'd look to these kick-ass women who were making money and making awesome shit happen, and  I'd sigh out loud, pout a lot (not in a I'm-totes-hot way, more a boo-to-life kinda way. FYI: NOT a good look) and shout, why them? Why not me? I drew the line at foot stomping and screaming it's not fair, though. Fuck it, who am I trying to kid? No I didn't. I totes threw myself a full-on pity party for one. A LOT of chocolate was involved.

Why them? Why not me? So, why was it them, and not me? If you'd asked me mid-pity party, I'd have totally pulled the 'I grew up in a single-parent family, on a council estate, we had no money, poor me' card. But you want to know the truth? You want to know the only thing standing between me and my awesomeness?

It was the belief that my awesomeness was worth investing in.

I had such crazy-ass resistance to spending money on making my life better.  Sure, I read lots of books, and they provide wicked business insight, I bought a yoga DVD, because that was cheaper than going to an actual class, (I think I played it once before it started gathering dust on the shelf) but when it came to the REAL stuff like doing a business course, going to a proper yoga class and making money, I simply wouldn't invest in it. I was fearful.

What if it didn't work? I don't want to waste the little amount of money I do have. What if I pay all that money and I'm rubbish at yoga? I want to to do it, but I can't afford it. Making money? Get real, like you're ever going to make money!

Flick fear the middle finger In January, I flicked fear the finger and made an investment in my awesomeness. I had £189 in my bank account, and the first installment on the Passion to Profit course that I really wanted to do was £150. I was shitting bricks. Seriously, I had 2 clients at the time and the money I was earning from them was just covering my rent and food for the month. I was committing to paying £150 every month for the next 6 months, this HAD to work.

Four months later, I'd earned the cost of the course back and was doubling my monthly income. For sure it wasn't big numbers to start with, but for someone that four months previously was living out of her overdraft, it was a big freakin' deal. By investing in my awesomeness, investing in the skill set and support of someone who was already rockin' and rulin' at what they did, I sent a super-clear message to my heart and the universe/source/spiritual homegirls that finally, I was worth it.

In six months I got awesome.

I became a go-for-it girl, I created a business I ADORE, a life I love where I get to spend sweet, sweet time with my beau, travel, have adventures AND make money, GOOD money. Oh, and FYI:  this size 18 girl o' hotness? I can TOTALLY do a half shoulder stand and I've only been going to my yoga class for  8 weeks - what can I say? Girl's got skillz.

Look, this isn't some bullshit sales page or an excuse to blow my trumpet - although trust me, I'm totes cool about doing that and you really should work with me, I'm awesome - I'm sharing MY stuff because I really want you to rock out too.

[quote style="boxed" float="none"]...The truth is, people who invest in themselves munch daily on Thrive Pie and let me tell you, that pie tastes so freakin' dee-lish that you can't stop at just one slice...[/quote]

 That's why I will always invest in my awesomeness. I have a business coach AND a life/wellbeing coach. I will pay for yoga, meditation and satsangs indefinitely, because they ALL support my awesome so that I can support yours. So, if you're done with simply surviving, you're willing to do the work and want a taste o' that yumm-o Thrive Pie for yourself, it should really be one of your 5 a day, y'know - invest in your awesomeness.

Start a saving fund for your awesomeness and put away some cashola to spend on simply nurturing your awesome. I know that idea might be super-scary but you deserve it, and saving becomes much easier the more you practice at it, but the main caveat is; it HAS to be spent on your awesomeness. It's the law. Go online and book an adventure. Write YOUR book. Join a dance/yoga/burlesque class o' your choice - your awesomeness can only expand if your heart, mind and body are happy too. Book an awesome-boostin' retreat Sign up to a college/online learning course. Get a mentor/coach.

If life isn't rockin' and rulin', invest in your awesome, start a fresh new page, become the author of your story, and radically re-write the next chapter in the book o' YOU. I dare you.

It's what go-for-it girls do. And you are one of those, right?!