Taking care of SHE business: an ongoing discussion
(I want to head this up with the fact I don’t have the answers, I’m just interested in the dance that’s occurring in me and judging by the conversation that’s been going on over on the FB comments, in LOTS of you too - thank gods for that!)
So, I've been getting 'curious' + 'interested' (read: pissed off) with how pushy + sales-y online business feels right now - my gorgeous friend Cordelia talks about this in such a powerful way - so I found it really 'interesting' (again, read 'pissed off') to receive an email over night from someone wanting me to take part in an online summit.
Now, I LOVE a summit/gathering experience but the person sending the email had inserted my name into a template, clearly had NO idea who I was and the work I do and gave me a list of requirements that I have to fulfil in order to qualify taking part including having a a mailing list of 5000+.
Really? Is this how we do business now? We define someone's story or what they have to share in the world by how many followers they have? Some of my most treasured teachers + wisdom keepers don't have an online presence AT ALL.
Look, I'm not a dumbass, I KNOW it's a tried + tested model but isn’t it time we tried and tested a new model? One where everyone is nourished and feels good about the experience? One where we don't feel wrong/not good enough/not shiny enough for not hiring a 5k coach to tell us what to do, for not earning 6 or 7 figures, for not using old, tired and slightly grimy online sales methods to sale our latest offering.
Again, I'm not calling anyone out, because to some extent I'm part of this machine. I have a big mailing list and I currently have a 2 book deal with a book publisher, but my mailing list isn't a data collecting exercise, it's a community who I love let me share my heart + musings with, and I would of written the books I'm writing if a publisher had wanted them or not, and while I know that ultimately they need me to sell books, I'll be doing that in a way that feels good and nourishing to me AND to the reader.
It's a new lady landscape to navigate. How to do business in a SHE-led way. (I actually started creating a course about this over 2 years ago called Taking Care of SHE Business - how to use your monthly superpowers to navigate running your own business but ohmystars - I've been living it and Taking Care of SHE Business is multi-freakin'-layered. Yes, knowing/living/honouring your cyclic super powers will definitely help you with but it's about SO much more than that.) A way that is invitational and not praying on the fears/pain/insecurities of others - this is the old way, and it's ingrained in the social psyche and it's seen as the only way of working because we're told it's the only way that works but what if there's another way and we're too scared to try it because we'll fuck up? Guess what? There's a good chance you WILL fuck up. I have over and over. So what? Isn't it about time we all got a bit more okay with being messy? FYI: I've had to save this from turning into a patriarchal riff (there are at least four versions of 'how we've been fucked over by patriarchy in business/relationships/life' sat on this desktop) about how patriarchy doesn't like it when we get messy, so it's had us be the 'good girl' who keeps a lid on our emotions and doesn't dare to speak in our 'outside voice' because we're worried that people won't like us, as that is another conversation entirely.
What if you were to trust yourself and your own body wisdom about how and what you shared online? What if instead of trying to create something you've been told to, you learn the skills you need (I run my entire business from an iphone because I need that shit to be easy) and shared YOU in your wholeness so that people really know who they're working with? Some of my most favourite online people invite me in - yes, they create beautiful + powerful content, but they also let me see them feeding their baby, they tell me how hard it is, they laugh and they cry, they show up real. Lotte - I'm talking to you.
What if you didn't have everything figured out, but you share what you know anyway? I do this ALL the time. I'm doing it now. I have no other reason to create this content today other than I'm curious. I'm ALWAYS curious. My most favourite programme has been RE:WILDING because we created that work in real time, as a collective, the women that showed up were ALL IN. It was exciting, real and powerful.
What if we used the tools - our website/blog/social media on our terms without fear or being liked or creating a pretty page? I LOVE instagram and I show ALL of me there. Snotty nose, blog posts, new clothes, yoga, periods, book writing, husband, in loveness - the lot. I hate twitter so I don't go there. It's that easy. What if we did this with all our online-ness? Made it a living breathing ever changing, cyclic experience of our wholeness?
What if you trust and love what you've created enough to show up for it, to share it with the world and to do that without embarrassment or a mask? If you're creating something you don't dig, there's a good chance I won't dig it either, but if you've created it with love and passion and you show me that love and passion through words and pictures, I'll feel it. Really I will. We need to start trusting each other on that. KNOW that I KNOW when you show up real. I feel it. THAT'S your light. Shine it.
Like I said, I have no answers, just suggestions. I'm negotiating this landscape with you, I love running a business, I want to make money, I want to use social media (you KNOW I love the Instagram) I want to tell you when I'm creating new books/prods/courses, and I want it to feel like a real and true and nourishing experience for me AND for you.
What's your story/thoughts/feelings on this? Lets have a #abloodyconversation either in the comments below or over on the SASSY SHE FB page - I REALLY want this to be a living breathing conversation we can ALL grow + learn from.