rip up the wedding rule book

me&Rich Don't fret, just because I'm now engaged, this won't become a wedding obsess-o blogginz with me in the starring role as Bridezilla, but there maybe a few wedding inspired posts because...well, besides from being really rather excited 'bout it all,  there might be other members o' girl-kind out there who, like me, haven't kept a wedding book since they were 13, and find the idea of actually planning such an event all kinds of daunting. It's not just me, is it? IS IT?!

Who knew when that beautiful Viking beau o' mine got down on one knee (he did you know, at the top of the Eiffel Tower. At sunset. In sub-arctic conditions. It was truly the most beautiful, special and most magickal moment o' my entire life - I might blog about it, but I might not too, I quite like the idea of keeping that evening contained inside our very own love-filled Paris sno-globe) that this wedding malarky could be such a minefield?

The good news is that the beau has proposed to me with the intention of actually getting married. I know that's generally the idea, but I've been asked before y'know, and I don't think the idea of getting married actually entered his head. (He was all about the grand gestures, totally unable to back them up, hence why he is now an ex - hurrah!) So for me, this is the first, and last, time I'm engaged to be married and I'm filled to the brim with excitement about it all. Now, I LOVE my beautiful beau with all my big thumpity heart, that much I know for sure. Everything else wedding-y? Not so much. I'm not a conventional kinda girl. Both the beau and I march very much to the beat of our own drums, it just so happens that our drums beat out a pretty snazzy rhythm when they're played together, so anything that we plan is going to be very 'us', but, and we've only been engaged for a week, we've realised pretty quickly, that there's a rule book, etiquette, and all sorts of crazy shenanigans that comes with planning a wedding. We had a moment, last week where we broke out in hives with the worry of who to invite, parties, etc. so we dealt with it the only way we know how. We ate cake. Oh, and then we ripped up the wedding rule book and created our own. It looks a little bit like this...

Let's start with being engaged. People, this is a BIG deal. Once we'd told our close friends and fam, I mentioned it on facebook. We got 95 responses of love and excitement. However, through our actual post box? 4 cards. Is facebook now the accepted way to express love-stuff for something so big and monumental? Well, at the risk of sounding diva-like, not in my world. So if you're a friend or family member reading this, and you're happy that the beau and I have declared our love stuff to the world, we'd like a card please. Thank you. (I'm the same about birthdays and ANY occasion really. I LOVE a card. And how's a girl to make a scrapbook o' this event o' awesomeness with facebook messages? Just sayin'.)

Then there's ACTUALLY getting married. Now, this is kinda awkward, what with neither the beau nor I wanting to actually get married. We deffo want a ceremony though, but we're not seeking permission, we're not asking if it's okay for us to be together forever, we simply want the opportunity, in the presence of our gods and goddesses and friends and fam, to declare our big beautiful love stuff to each other. Oh, and have fun whilst we do it. Which is why we'll be having an intimate handfasting, in the most beautiful locale, with the people we love and who love us. Happy sigh.

Guests. People assume they're invited. People have already asked for an invitation. My mum took it as red that I might invite a cousin twice removed. I won't. Despite appearances, I'm an introverted extrovert, I don't dig big show-y things. Neither does the beau. In fact, we're still undecided about whether to even have an engagement party, because neither of us like a huge fuss. Our 'celebration o' love stuff' as I've taken to affectionately calling it, isn't a show with must-have tickets, it's a celebration of our love for each other and we only want people there that we love and who love us back. Not a cousin twice removed who I haven't seen since I was 8.

Cost. We had a moment of sweaty palpitations thinking about how much it might all cost, so we plan on doing everything very much on a budget, we also have the most talented, creative bunch o' friends and family, so over the coming months we will be enlisting their help to create all kinds o' handmade gorgeousness. I can't wait to look around me on the day that I declare love stuff and know that everything there has been made with love by people that we both love. Perfect-o.

Most importantly, and I'm writing this now so that if I find myself falling into a bridezilla-type-haze and getting a messy or stressy head about it all, I can re-read it and remember what this union is actually all about, because whether you do it in a church, in a field at a festival or under water, it's not about 'one perfect day', it's about celebrating all the reasons you love each other and your commitment to create a gazillion perfect days together in whatever imperfect form that they come in.

PS: Despite creating our own rulebook, I have however, found myself getting rather excited about what I like to call 'online offbeat wedding porn'. If you need inspir-o for your own wedding, check out these websites that celebrate the unconventional, the quirky and in some cases VERY strange!