This weekend, as I put together prompts + practices + rituals for RE:WILDING
, I felt an anger.
Plate throwing, rage-full, fire-y anger.
Don't worry, the crockery is still in tact, because it was a conscious anger + I dared to feel it, I dared to feel the fire of carrying over 2,000 years of my ancestors anger + grief of being a woman in my womb + ovaries + the Viking held space for it.
The last time we spoke about patriarchy, I asked him to read a section of my new book Love Your Lady Landscape
, his response was 'woah, that's a bit much isn't it?'
I said 'patriarchy's a bit fucking much'
slammed the door + played Taylor Swift really loudly.
Now the Viking is a dude that's awake. He's a dude that supports, loves, worships + honours the divine feminine + the work we do in relationship with each other (+ it's definitely work) to navigate the union of the masculine + feminine nurtures, agitates, inspires + grows me on a daily basis, but I was angry + on Sunday morning, he represented the patriarchy.I was researching the witch trials for my next book, Witch
+ I got slammed with some to-the-gut low blow truths - the patriarchs, made mothers + daughters testify against each other, they declared that the prosecution + persecution of witches - which, if you're not familiar, was the term for wise woman
- was being done in the name of the 'mother church' which created a bone-deep mistrust amongst women + a totally messed up story of sisterhood that is still prevalent amongst lady kind today.
Patriarchy has done a job on us. On all of us, men + women.
I was then led to a documentary called The Honor Diaries
- watch it, educate yourself - I got so angry that I made myself sick because Female Genital Mutilation is not fucking okay.
I was crying with anger.
I felt Kali Ma in every cell of being + knew it was time to burn this shit down.
All. of. it.
The comparison, the fear of what others think of us, the illusion of how life 'should' be.
All. of. it.
The number of likes on facebook, the linear business models, the thought that travel + adventure + seeking pleasure is seen as 'running away' or 'trying to escape'.
Burn it ALL to the ground.
As I sat sobbing for my ancestors, for my sisters now who are scared that a sister might stab them in the back because that's what they had us do to each other in the 15th century, the fire in my gut raged harder.
They don't want us to re-member the goddess that they dismembered.
If we do, they've made it so fucking painful that we numb the pain with fleeting 'perceived' pleasure which we then beat ourselves up for because we don't fit the impossible fucking ideal that they've created.So yeah, I was angry.
I was angry for ALL OF IT.
All the times I thought I simply wasn't enough while a sister ran a massive online publicity campaign and I just longed to follow the cycles of mumma nature + my menstrual cycle.
The viking suggested that anger simply doesn't serve, but do you know what? He's been done over by the patriarchy too. He's been made to think that an angry woman is dangerous + uncontrollable + while he's not fearful of me, he's definitely fearful for me.
For how an angry woman in the world has been represented.
But conscious anger, righteous anger, is the fire that can burn ALL this shit to the ground.
Breathing deeply + yoga nidra will serve too, there's place for it all, but it's not one or the other, it's why women are cyclic. It's why our menstrual cycle is our super power, because each month we work lady magic. We are able to access the linear thinking, the get-shit-done-ness in the first half of our cycle + in the second half of our cycle we come inwards to process, to feel , to embody + to cleanse. Our pre-menstrual phase is our space to edit, to get rid of anything that no longer serves us, it's when anger can be used as the fire to burn shit down, because when the bleed comes, you can let it go.
They don't want you to remember your power, but...
women, it's time for reclamation.
It takes work to stay awake to this but our secret weapon is our ability to feel.
To keep connecting to ourselves + our emotions - ALL OF THE EMOTIONS - not just the nice ones, but the roll in the mud, raw, dirty, vulnerable, hot + sore emotions + then to dare to feel them and express ourselves from THAT place.
The more we allow ourselves to feel, the more we trust ourselves, and the more that we begin to trust ourselves, the more we'll feel confident to share + express our truth.
We ARE the granddaughters of the witches they could not burn.
They tried to bury us, but they didn't know we were seeds.
And we're growing.
We're growing our truth.
We have to keep calling bullshit every time we compare ourselves to our sisters, every time we hate on our bodies, every time we allow ourselves to be separate from our bodies + each other, every time we think someone is doing better than we are, every time we feel we have to do life, business, relationships a certain way.
Start to see it + call it out.
Be honest + truthful about how
Express, emote, show me your bloody ovaries, sister + burn, baby, burn.This
is the RE:WILDING.
I would LOVE for you to join me in circle as we explore ALL of this - anger, bitchcraft + our real + raw expression of it, next monday on the full moon, for a 14 day writing journey back to your wild + free self. Click HERE
for all the deets.