Eve, self-abandonment + feeling it to heal it
Both my heart + my womb are tender.There's a chance yours might be too, what's going on in the world is pretty full on + gnarly at the moment and if I'm honest, I want to do everything I can to escape from it - I want to eat ALL THE FOOD. I want to watch back to back episodes of The Housewives of...well, anywhere, because it all hurts a bit too much. But I'm trying to stay with it. To feel it. To feel it ALL. And I'm not going to lie, it's a challenge. There's a section in Love Your Lady Landscape called Feel It To Heal It. I re-read it this morning, because feeling was just too bloody painful. It is for most of us. We're taught from an early age that pain is NOT okay, so we've done all we can to distance ourselves from it. Except, for any kind of real healing to happen - for you, me + Mumma Earth - we NEED to feel them. We need to allow the painful feelings to be felt because they hold a LOT of important information for us. Our feelings, so many of which we store in our womb space - are a source of inner guidance and it's our job to become aware, take radical self-responsibility and let the healing commence. Y'see, Eve's banishment from the Garden of Eden - whatever your religion or spiritual belief - has left ladykind with a sense of universal rejection + abandonment - which is why so many of us use self-abandonment as our go-to method of protection from pain.
Right now, despite the high masculine solar energy of summer solstice here in the northern hemisphere, an energy which 'should' be calling me to 'do' and 'create', I'm being called into deep rest. I'm bleeding with the full moon and my bleed is more painful than it's been for years - grrr - so much so, that I've spent the last day in bed. It's not just me that's feeling this way either. The women that are gathering in the SHE Coven, the sacred FB circle of women who have pre-ordered Love Your Lady Landscape (come join us - pre-order your copy of the book by clicking HERE - I cannot get enough of how honest we're all showing up in that space, THIS is the community I've been craving!) they're feeling it too. The trick is to bare witness to it, and despite EVERYTHING your mind will try to suggest, don't abandon yourself.
So today, I'm taking prompts from the Maltese Dreamer. I talk about her A LOT in the book, she's this incredible 5,000+ year old statue of a gloriously curvy goddess found in a womb tomb in Malta who is lying on her side in deep rest. There are lots of stories about her, but MY story of this particular goddess is that she's menstruating, and when she menstruates she's able to dream her life into being through deep rest that allows her to receive. We call it Yoga Nidra. Deep meditative sleep. A state of consciousness that allows you to process pain, to understand feelings + work to unravel them all while your body takes deep rest. I talk about Nidra a lot in the book too, because it's such an important tool in my SHE Flow practice bag.
This is work, I'm not pretending for one minute that it's not. Feeling, when all you actually want to do is run/hide/numb/control the pain, is how we've been taught to deal. It's ALL I want to do right now. That's because the patriarchy put all our SHE power tools in the darkness and taught us, rather successfully, to be scared of the dark. Yep, all the parts of being a woman, all the keys that enable us to access our power and feel power-FULL in this lifetime - our menstrual cycle, our pleasure + desires, our innate intuition and ability to feel - have been hidden in the shadows and labelled taboo, so that it's too bloody scary for us to go there, discover and claim them back as their own. Basically, like the goddess, we've been dis-membered. Separated from our body, our ability to feel fully + our intuition. All this crazy shiz that's going on in the world? It's patriarchy getting SERIOUSLY pissed that we're daring to feel again, that more and more of us - men + women - are waking up to the manipulation, that we're daring to ask questions and that women especially, are reconnecting to their body + their womb's wisdom.
Women, when we allow ourselves to feel, we heal.
When we feel, we reconnect + we re-member. With ourselves + with our power. Then? Patriarchy begins to crumble. Slowly. Which means more than ever we have to grow strong roots in order to rise, because I can guarantee it won't go down without a fight, because fighting is all patriarchy really knows how to do. But then, maybe in this lifetime, maybe not, that's not really our concern, we WILL start to heal the entire freakin' planet.