Elizabeth Gilbert, menstrual cycles + saying 'no' to the party
Heads up, there's no blog post this week.Why? Because I'm day 28 of my menstrual cycle, I'm waiting to bleed + have one foot in reality + one foot in dream time. This is NOT an excuse for not delivering on my commitment to weekly Lady Landscape content, but this IS an example of when life doesn't go to plan + you don't manage your time effectively.
I spent the weekend in sacred ceremony with women I love + it was special + potent and on Sunday night, I came home + slept for ten hours. I had tickets to see my author-girl-crush Elizabeth Gilbert last night in the big London, but I knew the train journey + being with SO many people on day 27 of my cycle when I wanted to be alone would totally deplete me so while I LOVE Liz, I love me more, so I stayed home, had an epsom salt bath, made a blanket fort, drank tea + wrote my book. (I think Liz would have been REALLY okay with that. When we're besties + she, Lena Denham, Amy Schumer + I are having a sleepover, braiding each others hair + having existential conversations, we will laugh about how I chose not to go to the party and how nothing bad happened.)
So, there are a few points here, none of which I doubt will form as articulately as I'd like because, well, I'm day 28, and my 'this-is-how-you-string-a-sentence-together' hormones are non-existent 'til at least day 3 when rising oestrogen and testosterone start to improve my brain skills, but when I put a shout out on Facebook yesterday afternoon asking if anyone wanted tickets for Liz's gig last night as I was staying home to build a day 27 blanket fort, people messaged me asking 'are you mad? You're going to miss out on Elizabeth Gilbert just because you're pre-menstrual?' My answer? Yes. Yes I am. Why? Because I honour the shit out of my body + my boundaries. I LOVE EG, this is actual fact, but luckily for me, she's VERY techno savvy and uses a gazillion different mediums via which I can access her and her work (and obviously, in the future, when we're BFF's she will share her wiseness with me, and I will...I dunno, make her oil blends + share the benefits of vag steaming + yoni eggs) and while I'd have LOVED to have seen her live, saying 'no' to the party was a practice in nothing bad actually happens if you say 'no' to the party and everything good happens when you love yourself enough to declare what you need. We don't need to 'plough on through' our pre-menstrual phase, like we did the previous two phases of our cycle when our energy AND hormone levels were high + juicy and provided us with all that we needed to take action, stay up late, be highly productive and show up to EVERY party. Instead, our pre-menstrual phase is a welcoming call each + every month for us to slow down + come home to who we are. A time to listen to our bodies and to be super clear on what is serving us and what isn't.
I know some women will see slowing down each month, saying no + NOT going to the party as a sign of weakness, and that's okay, we've been conditioned to think that way. In order to 'succeed' in a dude-centric society, we've HAD to function in a dude-like way, we've had no choice, but it's been at the detriment of our health, our power + our lady magic - and well, just so you know, I'm not cool with that.
So, ideal scenario, I would have pre-written a blog when energy + creative levels were higher, but I didn't, and that can't be blamed on my cycle that's blamed on my somewhat interesting relationship with time, something I'm working on a LOT at the moment, but the good news is that, inadvertently, what was going to be a li'l I'm-day-28-+-have-no-words-so-here's-a-video-of-puppies-doing-cute-shiz has actually turned into a blog post, which is just proof that...oh gods, I have NO idea what it's proof of. You expect me to reach an articulate conclusion to everything I've shared when all I want to do is go eat chocolate?!!!
Feel free to reach a conclusion for me, in fact I'd love that - either comment below, or I'll post this over on my Facebook page too so please come and share your thoughts. Maybe you think knowing our cycle is just becoming an excuse for a lack of productivity in the second half of our cycle (this WILL be a blog post when I'm feeling, y'know, MORE productive), maybe this way of being feels revolutionary, maybe FOMO pushes you to go against your body wisdom - how do you even differentiate body wisdom telling you to say 'no' to the party from your comfort zone wanting to keep you small? Come share it all!