Book writing, fear, ego & letting go...
Last week was spent with fifteen 16-year olds at an away camp, so as you can imagine, a weekend away was much needed, so the beau and I headed to Glastonbury for b-day celebrations with our gorgeous friend, JC - the weekend was filled with sunshine, good food, good company and a soundtrack provided by Damh the Bard and a brass band...Happy, happy times.
As always Glastonbury sprinkled me with it's beautiful magick and allowed me to get some much-needed perspective. Y'see, I'll let you into a secret, I've been having a slight wobble about sending my book, Sassy Sorcery, to the publisher.
Now, to all intents and purposes, it's finished, and probably has been for a couple o' months, but this is my first book for grown-up girls and it feels...well, bloody BIG. For sure, I'm an author girl. I've written 10 children's books of my own and 15 books/annuals for other people, but writing for grown-ups, and sharing my brand-new SASSY philosophy (Spiritual, Authentic, Sensual & Sensational YOU!) with the world, well...that scared me. There I said it.
I mean, seriously, who did I think I was? Yep, I may have been given the title 'self-esteem queen' by teen magazine, Mizz, but I'm no guru. I'm still very much on the path o' SASSY learning myself, and all I really know for certain is that life is significantly sweeter in a gazillion different ways when you're SASSY, so why was I finding it so hard to share? I mean, the more women that know about how to tap into their SASSY and become mistress o' their destiny the more awe-inspiring this world will become, so why was I being a complete only child about it and not sharing my new toy? Fear and ego. It's as simple as that. The thing is, when you know how pesky things like fear and ego work, and I've written about them both extensively, you HAVE to do something about it, because Spiderman will testify, with knowledge comes great responsibility. So, if I'm aware that it's fear and ego standing in the way of me sharing my book of awesomeness - and it IS awesome - then it's absolutely my responsibility to take action. So, after lots o' chats with my gorgeous friends, walking barefoot in the sunshine in Glastonbury Abbey and a gazillion hugs o' love, I'm letting go of both.
Under the full moon, I wrote a love letter to my spiritual home-girl, Yemaya. asking for her support and guidance to let go of all the ego-driven, neggo vibin' that's been stopping me from enjoying the process of completing my first grown-up book, and her help and support to allow nothing but love stuff for myself, the book, and it's SASSY content, to flow in abundance. I sent the letter out to sea along with offerings to mermaid-y Yemaya and let out a big, beautiful sigh of relief.
This weekend, I will open the word document called Sassy Sorcery manuscript, do a final edit, make a wish for the book to reach, help, inspire, motivate and nurture everyone it's supposed to (it's what I do when I finish every book) and simply press...send.